Desperate Measures
by Meesh
Summary: This is my version of the infamous alternate ending of The High Lord. Like a majority of the readers, it seems, I also feel that the ending of this series should have been different. Here is my take on how it should have ended. Please enjoy and review!


**Alrighty, here begins the disclaimer. I do NOT own these characters, I do NOT own the rights to the series "Black Magician Trilogy," and I do NOT claim the first six or so paragraphs as my own. I took them from the ending of the book The High Lord because I felt the need to make the story flow with how it originally ended.**

Okay, so I didn't like the original ending to the third book. I REALLY didn't like it. Not to say the author was wrong in her ending, but I felt the book was dark enough without adding the unneeded demise of Akkarin. Plus Sonea resonates with me in a real way, and I wanted her to be happy in some sense of the word. Without further ado, here is my fanfiction of "The High Lord" by Trudi Canavan.

All was silent. Sonea stared at the three bodies lying before the University. A wave of exhaustion washed over her. She felt no triumph. No pleasure. Just emptiness. She turned to Akkarin.

A smile curled the edge of his lips. His eyes were open, but fixed somewhere beyond her. As she moved, the hands about her wrists loosened and fell away.

"No," she whispered. "Akkarin." Grabbing his hands, she sent her mind inward. Nothing. Not even the slightest spark of life.

He had given her too much power.

He had given her everything.

With shaking hands, Sonea ran her fingers over his face, then bent forward and kissed his lifeless mouth. She curled up around him, and thought of him. Thought of Akkarin. She thought of him when she was still terrified of him; of when he so steadfastly tried to protect her at the trial; of her image in his mind that she had seen that sunset.

She thought of the waterfall. Sonea couldn't lose him, not now. Not after they both had vanquished the Ichani. They were finally gone, and she couldn't share in that triumph with him. "Akkarin," she mumbled to herself numbly, "you can't leave me now."

Her stubbornness taking over in the face of reality, Sonea pushed herself up to look at his quickly paling face. Putting her hands on his temples, she pushed her consciousness into his mind. She would give him her power. Sonea would somehow bring him back, she had to. She knew she wouldn't be able to live without Akkarin; he was the only one who truly understood her. The only one who ever would.

Weaving through emptiness wasn't easy, but she had to find him, had to find a spark of Akkarin somewhere.

— _Come on, Akkarin; where are you? You have to come back..._

Struggling to find a piece of the man she fell in love with, Sonea suddenly felt arms around her, pulling her away. Blinking for a few seconds and looking up revealed Rothen looking at her worriedly.

"Sonea, what are you trying to do? Is Akkarin alive?" Sonea looked at him with the most desperate look he had ever seen her have. "Are you okay?"

The only thing she could concentrate on was Akkarin. Barely recognizing the words Rothen was saying to her, she just threw herself back onto Akkarin and delved back into his ever-fading mind. She felt herself be pulled away again, this time by stronger arms. When she looked up blankly, it was Dorrien.

"Sonea, what is going on? I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's going on." She could hear his fairly alarmed voice behind her head.

Struggling against Dorrien's superior strength, Sonea watched as Rothen went over to Akkarin and felt his forehead. Rothen shook his head at his son, then turned to Sonea. "There is nothing there, Sonea. He gave his life for this city, and for you; I'm so sorry." His features seemed to sag with sorrow as he looked at her.

She felt her knees give out slightly at the proclamation, but looking at Akkarin's features brought her again to near hysteria. Sonea was vividly reminded of the time, only a short while ago, when she had held the light globe over his body and studied him as he slept. She wanted his eyes to flutter open as they did then, she wanted him to look into her eyes once more; that's all she wanted! In her panic, Sonea used an old street tactic she knew and twisted out of Dorrien's grasp.

Running over to Akkarin's body again, she blurted out, "I will save him; he has to come back. He has to... I'll make him come back!" Throwing her hands on his head, she pushed back in. There had to be something, even the smallest amount of power, of life, left in him.

Rothen stood next to his son, in shock. Even when running away from the magicians he had never seen Sonea look so . . . desperate. So lost. He looked over at Dorrien, who was giving an inquisitive look, as if to ask permission to grab her again. Rothen shook his head and grabbed his son's shoulder.

— _No, Dorrien. This is her grief; we need to let her deal with the fact._

— _But, father; this isn't healthy. She needs medical attention now._

— _And more than medical attention, she needs to realize that Akkarin won't come back. She doesn't have the kind of power to bring back people from the dead—no one does. Don't worry, her physical injuries are easily Healed. It's the emotional ones we have to truly worry about._

Rothen turned around and walked towards Balkan to explain the situation..Dorrien's shoulders slumped slightly as he conceded to his father. There was nothing he could do for her at this point in time. He followed Rothen.

Sonea searched for what seemed like an eternity. Every second was burned into her mind as a moment without Akkarin; she needed him back. Delving deeper into what she hoped was his mind, she fumbled around looking for any sign of Akkarin's power. After a while, she began to become conscious of her own power in addition to looking for his. She thought that perhaps she could find an imprint of him on her power, and amplify that.

Looking inward, she discovered something she shouldn't have been able to so soon; she discovered a child! A small child, no more than a week old, inside of her. She . . . was pregnant?! Sonea blanched; was she really pregnant? Yes, yes she was. She could feel Akkarin's imprint on this barely live child. She focused on the part of it that was Akkarin; Sonea put forth all her remaining power, reserving only enough to ensure she herself didn't die. She focused on Akkarin, on his power, on bringing that consciousness back to his mind. She fought with all her being, with all her soul.

Thinking of Akkarin's face one last time, Sonea lost consciousness.

The first thing Sonea noticed was a scent; a familiar scent that she recognized almost immediately. At first she thought she was dreaming, then she realized that she had passed out on Akkarin. Of course he would smell like himself! Afraid to open her eyes, afraid to see the truth—that she had failed Akkarin—she breathed the scent deeply. A light touch caressed her face. It reminded her of the time Akkarin had brushed her hair out of her face when she tried to convince him to throw caution to the wind and begin their relationship. The memory made her smile a distant, fond smile. Behind her closed lids, she envisioned him as he was that day at the waterfall—of the love they shared that day.

Lost in her memories, Sonea allowed herself to begin to drift off to sleep again, content to dream of the wonderful past instead of the horrid reality of the present. Just before she blissfully slipped off into the world of her memories, she felt a brush against her lips. A very familiar brush. It reminded her of . . . Akkarin.

Sonea's eyes flew open; there was darkness above her. Once her eyes focused in the harsh light of the sun, she saw him. There Akkarin was, smiling at her.

— _I must have died trying to save you; you were gone. But yet, you are here with me._

— _You did not die; don't talk in such extremes. You brought me back._

— _You mean . . . _

— _Let's not speak of this anymore—now you need to explain to the crowd that has formed around us how you did it._

Sonea looked around. Sure enough, there was Rothen, Dorrien, and a few of the Higher Magicians looking at the two of them, completely perplexed. Lady Vinara looked especially confused, being Head of Healers. Sonea looked at them blankly for a few seconds, then realized exactly what it was she had done: she had brought someone back from the dead! Surely they must have thought that she was either the greatest healer of all time, or that she used black magic to obtain that power as well; either way, she would have had a million questions thrown at her any moment from now. She slowly turned her head back to Akkarin, practically drinking in the sight of him. Tears began to form in her eyes, but she fought them back. Why cry if she was so happy?

Akkarin's mouth curled up in the half smile he was so insanely good at. "Sonea, stop leering at me." His recital of the line he had given her before the fight broke the dam. The tears streamed down her face: relief, happiness, sorrow, everything; all the emotions she had held back came in a flood all at once. One was by far ahead of the others in her mind, however: happiness. She had Akkarin back, all of his dark, loving, kind, and sacrificing self.

Sonea felt him hold her close, and everything else in the world melted away. Nothing else mattered to her but this—nothing. Choking back a few sobs, she felt Akkarin's hand run over her hair. Looking up into his face, Sonea couldn't help but grin foolishly when he smiled back at her.

— _I don't know what I would have done without you._

— _No doubt, you would have gone off and done something foolish. It is good I am here to keep you in line._

— _Foolish? Who do you think you are?_

— _The former High Lord, and the man who loves you._

Sonea smiled a half smile akin to his infamous one.

— _And the father of my child._

Akkarin's eyes widened and he quickly placed his hand on her belly.

— _I sense nothing._

— _It's because you're too weak—you can't feel a week-old child with your power as it is._

Akkarin looked into her dark eyes. Sonea was telling the truth; not only had she brought him back from the void, she was carrying their child. Not caring who saw them, he brought her face up and kissed her with all the fervor he could muster in his exhausted state.

Sonea broke the kiss and smiled at him. This was what she wanted: the Ichani invaders dead, and Akkarin alive. The Guild had survived, in some sense of the word, and Rothen was alive. Akkarin was alive.

Alive, and with her.

Sonea smiled.


End file.
